Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dressing Room With A Moose

Fresh off the news that America's Favorite Alaskan Grifter Celebrity (Griftebrity is your portmanteau of the day, kids) has pulled down $12 million since July, we now find out what kind of demands this rising North Star wants (h/t Yggy)
Six pages of the contract Palin’s handlers sent to Cal State Stanislaus were unearthed in a dumpster by students there this week, and one of the many requirements that must be met for the former vice presidential hopeful: two unopened bottles of still water and “bendable straws” must be waiting on a wooden lectern.
That was just one item among the pages of elaborate demands that must be met to land a contract for Palin to come speak at an event. More costly were the requirement for her travel – the venue must supply her with business or first class commercial airfare, or with a private plane. And not just any jet will do.
“The private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger (as defined by interior cabin space) for West Coast Events; or, a Hawker 800 or Larger (as defined by interior cabin space for) East Coast Events, and both are subject to the Speaker’s approval. The Speaker Reserves the right to change the flight plans at any time,” the contract states.
 One, the irony of Cal State Stanislaus being able to afford Sarah Palin's Lear jet, but not being able to afford a quality paper shredder to get rid of contracts involving Sarah Palin and Lear jets, is just hysterical.

Two, the bendable straws are clearly so Sarah Palin can enjoy her bottled water without being distracted by looking down at her beverage of choice, which could cost her dearly should Vladimir Putin choose that moment to rear his head in the airspace over her lectern.

You laugh.  Vladimir Putin knows enough Judo to kill you. Sarah Palin?  Always prepared.  Even while Griftebriting around the globe in a Lear jet.


Yellow Dog said...

Love "Griftebrity," but how do you pronounce it?

GrifTEbrity? GrifteBRITy?


Zandar said...

I'm gonna go with the first one, Grif-TEB-ri-ty.

StarStorm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
StarStorm said...

ou know, I'm rather iffy about snarking about the contracts people make, usually.

But then, I think of the famous Van Halen "M&M" rider. That wasn't the band's pickiness but a failsafe put in place so the band could ensure that every last of their exceedingly complex and technically demanding contract. Turns out that the promoter didn't read it, and fucked up the staging so it sank through the floor.

Digression aside, when you get down to it, Palin IS a public speaker (even if she is a fucking sham), but the water and straws seems a pretty reasonable demand to make, as she will have to take care of her voice. It's the same bullshit Barbara Streisand was whacked with, and it was stupid then.

Long story short: The stuff we see in the contracts of public performers and speakers might seem like fussy largesse, but it might be the kind of stuff necessary for someone to do their job. Sarah Palin's job is public speaking. She has to take care of herself with that in mind.

I've got nothing on the jet though.

Zandar said...

Oh yeah, I know bendable straws are legitimate...for a public speaker.

And that's exactly what Sarah Palin is, a public speaker. President? Not so much.

StarStorm said...

Like I said. I've... got nothing on the jet. Of course, from what I know about how conceited Sarah Palin is...

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