The Java Made Me Do It

A man who grabbed teenage girls and women repeatedly has blamed his actions on too much caffeine. Yeah, I know.  I had to read it a few times myself.  Here is a link to the whole article, I included the juicier bits below.

SEATTLE - We have heard of temporary insanity, diminished capacity, the abuse excuse and even the Twinkie defense but a caffeine defense might be pushing it.

Nevertheless, that is what Kenneth Sands, 52, is attributing his incident involving him groping five females to - "an excessive intake of caffeine," as reported by KOMOnews.com.

A bus driver for the Rainier School District by day, Sands is convicted of molesting three teenage high school girls and two women during and after a volleyball game on October 18, 2011.

The first groping incident of the night occurred while Sands was a spectator at the game when he "allegedly touched a 46-year-old woman's breasts multiple times and later tried to grab her butt as she was trying to get away from him," confirms a representative from the Lewis County Washington Sheriff's Office.

Following the game, Sands then grabbed two teenage girls outside of a school bus and proceeded to follow the volleyball players onto the bus. Sands allegedly touched another female student in an inappropriate manner. At that time "the bus driver kicked him off of the bus," according to the sheriff's office.

Sands insists his behavior was a result of caffeine and that this incident is not representative of his normal behavior.

Despite Sand's protestation of his consistent normalcy, Doctor Martin Blinder's expert psychiatric opinion of a caffeine induced groping is that he hasn't heard of such a thing.

The funny thing is, I was going to write about the Arkansas woman who left the scene of an accident because she didn't want her ice cream to melt, and then I ran into this beaut.

We are dangerously close to adding a "What is wrong with you people" tag.

Martin Blinder was the one who pitched the infamous Twinkie Defense, an attempt to excuse the murder of George Moscone and Harvey Milk based on his depression and diet of pure junk food.

Being felt up is our cross to bear.  Like white people will never quite know what it's like to be black, and straight people will never quite know what the gay experience is like, men will never know the real insult behind being grabbed.  It isn't a compliment (believe it or not I've heard that argument), it's an assault on our personal space.  It's a reminder that we are mostly valued for our attractiveness and compliance, and insinuates that our best accomplishment in life is growing boobs.  It is often meant to (and succeeds) put us in our place and remind us of the pecking order of things.

My husband saw what happened to the last man who goosed me.  It wasn't pretty.  He flew just fine, but what an awful landing.  Guys like this aren't amped on caffeine, they finally give in and just do what they want, to whomever they want.  Thank goodness there's a law against that, eh?